5 signs a relationship won't last for long
- appleskeats
- Jun 4, 2023
- 7 min read
Updated: Aug 20, 2023
Well, what is a relationship?
Well, here's a common answer, a relationship can also be defined as or the state of being connected by blood or marriage.
A relationship can be platonic, the ones we have with our friends and family and romantic that goes with our partners.
These days, relationships are built quick as a flash,
and are blown to smithereens in the next moment (no wonder why we vibe more on Joji than Elvis Presley)
From the past few decades though, apart from the four seasons, dating has become the fifth season.
Adding to that, relationships have also got variations (i.e. situationships) and this is where love gets chaotic.
Sometimes, a mere infatuation can be misunderstood as a lifetime relationship and vice - versa.
Even in the most serious relationships, conflicts and fights find space in them and can sow the seeds of doubt and questions. In such hard times, trying to predict the length of a relationship could become a life questioning job.
So, To help you a little, I have come up.
Here are seven signs that a relationship won't last for a lifetime.
Note: for any relationship to happen, many factors are responsible and it's always better to communicate with them and be vulnerable. Do not let any blogpost or article like this question your partner's behavior immediately. This is just a source of information, If you can relate with any of this it's better to seek help from a licensed relationship therapist before taking any decisions.
(All the information is seek from trustable platforms)
It's “only” about attraction
This is not rocket science to understand. Even a romantic relationship begins with the honeymoon phase when both individuals are romantically attracted to each other.
However, a problem arises when this honeymoon phase (first six month duration) is no longer a “phase”.
The sign is, when you're very physically attracted to that person that you overlook their personality, their mistakes, and everything about them seems “perfect”
Obviously, when a person is head over heels for someone, their personality seems “perfect” for that person irrespective of that “someone’s” actions.
However, it's important to view that person as they really are, and still willing to give them the same affection.
Tap here for similar articles: Infatuation: The mystical side of love
You can't be yourself
Do you miss your old self after getting into a relationship?
Do you find it difficult to follow your hobbies and lose contact with your friends?
When two people get into a romantic relationship, they're attracted to each other, it's obvious that slowly you adopt their habits, knowingly or unknowingly.
If we like a person, we put them on the pedestal which is again an obvious thing.
We put their needs first before ours, start liking their likings even if we don't actually like them and might even start listening to their kind of music.
Your needs intertwine in theirs.
Sometimes, it happens because we have witnessed our mothers doing it and subconsciously copy the same.
what goes wrong is we end up being their clones by trying to make their lives easier, cherishing them, basically mothering them.
In such cases, another individual in a relationship might start to lose his/her individuality.
There could be various reasons why this happens.
This could be due to the fear of rejection, fear of not being loved or due to the fear of abandonment.
Well, as they say,
“If you can't be yourself, what's the point in being anyone else?”
If you love someone else more than yourself, you will always compromise too much which is not good for you neither your partner.
Here, controlling becomes the another side of the cause;
They don’t respect you and don’t care about your feelings.
If a person can't be their individual self in a relationship, due to “fear”
Like, they have to lie to meet their friends, they can't eat what they wish because their partners hate it or they have to ask for permission from their partners for everything they want to do.
There's dominance of their partners, and they're not treating their partners as “partners”
But because people want that relationship, they still continue even though they're being put down and being able to be themselves.
Many times, a relationship for people isn't a relationship but a license of getting themselves validated.
This can also be a reason why people don't walk away from relationships where they can't be themselves because they lack self esteem.
You spend all 24 hours "with" them
Yes, that's right.
I understand, if you start dating a person, of course you want to spend as much as time as you can and get to know them on a personal level.
Thus, this might sound a little confusing, But here's a plot twist.
It does sound romantic when we make the people we love “our whole world” which is indeed an injustice to our mother Earth, neverminded she forgives you (but here's why it's actually a bad thing in disguise)
Many times, people for the first few months give all of their time and energy to that certain relationship which soon becomes a habit for both of the individuals .
The moment they start shifting their focus to other tasks, the relationship might seem to slowly lose its stability, which might give rise to conflicts, fights and doubts.
The key to a healthy, long-term relationship is learning to exist outside of your partner too.
Yes, you should give enough quality time to your partner but the more important it's important to spend time with them, equally the time without them matters too.
Along with that relationship, other priorities also exist, it's essential to have a balance.
If you find yourself cancelling your plans with your friends and family on a daily basis, that's going to be a major red flag ahead, you'll eventually miss yourself in those relationships.
You must've heard ‘You won't value the good days without the bad ones ’
this is somewhat like that.
In a short time, boredom finds its place in a relationship and takes in-charge of all the good conversations.
A relationship grows stronger with the experiences it comes through, whether good or bad. With that said, you should give your partner a chance to miss you too, along with the love and comfort.
"When you spend too much time with someone, romance stops being natural and starts to feel totally unnecessary"
says Cherlyn Chong — a dating and breakup recovery coach for professional women.
We all spend enormous time on social media, we are liberal and modernised citizens of our respective countries. It's vital to keep in that mind that:
“A true relationship is not the one that make you abandon others”If you're doing so, the more you're indulging in your relationship with your partner,
the more you're losing your identity in your other relationships.
Tap for more similar articles: 4 Habits that causes boredom in relationships
'YES'
Yes, If you always say yes in your relationship,
this could be a sign that your relationship will soon have a fullstop.
Generally, we don't intend to hurt or upset our partners by denying their requests or basically saying “no” to them, but that's where it can go wrong.
It is important to draw boundaries in your relationship by both of.
Just because you need someone in your life, or your friend is having a partner does not mean that you will also rush in the same direction and do things against your will.
Now when you commit to a relationship, of course there'll be adjustments you and your partner will have to make, but that doesn't mean, your tongue should have a “Yes” booked for every bigger / smaller offer your partner makes.
For instance, Many times, in the beginning of a relationship, one partner might crave for intimacy but the another one may demand some time and don't find it comfortable yet, but in order to not hurt the other partner, they will agree.
There's a quote by Josh Billings that says:
"Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough."
Re-read it.
It's again the same point, standing for your own self in a relationship.
Here are the reasons why it's "okay" to say NO!!
After a certain time, you'd realise several things: those people to whom you're making a lot of extra effort for, aren't necessarily giving back the same treatment. Meaning they're not saying yes to you all the time.
People are more understanding than you think they are. If you open up about your agreements and disagreements to your partner, it'll be easier for them to understand your side too and you both can come up with a solution good for both of you.
Boundaries are healthy, they're a form of self-care.
They’re a way of taking care of your mental health.
They ensure that your well-being is respected.
Tap for more similar articles: 4 Signs of a devastating relationships
You run away from fights and conflicts
Now, Fights are common in every relationship.
Regardless of how stronger or compatible your relationship is,
one sunrise does bring a ray of conflicts with itself.
Conflicts, fights and arguments for hand in hand with the love and care a relationship owns. Conflicts are healthy but the more you stretch them the uglier they might seem.
Arguments are stressful, indeed, filled with rage, disagreements and lack of comparability. t
The worst part about any conflict is that it's you vs your partner or your loved one and you don't want it.
To resolve any conflict, the first priority should be to be honest with your feelings and communicate with your partner regarding them.
Now, if in your relationship, you run away from fights and conflicts, not wanting to face it anymore
that is a sign that the relationship might not last.
If you and your partner find yourselves smoothing the surface and bottling up your emotions and promote lack of communication about it, this is not a good sign.
Being conflict avoidant also impacts relationships because here you are just cutting off
all honest communication with the other person.
Childhood trauma can also be activated when you are in conflict with someone close to you as an adult.
Several times, it could be due to stonewalling.
Stonewalling is when one partner is making an effort to work through an issue but the other person shuts down.
The reasons either of the individuals act this way could be;
Fear of ending the relationship by the other partner
Anxiety expressing emotions and feelings
Fear of getting dismissed by your partner
Fear of being misunderstood
It's useless to play the blame game here.
Instead of yelling at your partner or thinking that they don’t love you any more or that they are a bad person, focus on how you are feeling and confront your partner.
Try to identify the cause of the problem and how it affected you.
The more you keep your emotions to yourself, the more you're likely to feel negative about your partner
One 2013 study (Trusted Source) found that bottling up our emotions can increase the risk of premature death, including death from cancer.
(Source: healthline)
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